Ramblings of a Chubby Man: Welcome!

Will sing for pudding.

Welcome to what will hopefully become your “daily” dose of Goggs.

This will be a place for me to spout out whatever is currently on my mind, typically before lunch EST. Hopefully I don’t run out of clever shit to say. Odds are I will, so you might as well stick around for my eminent melt down of ” WHAT THE HELL DO YOU PEOPLE WANT FROM ME!!! I’M TRYING GODDAMNIT”

My guess is this will take place somewhere around week 3.

In related news, the creature that ate Jessica Simpson was recently kicked off of a Southwest flight as she was traveling from the former airplane hanger she calls a house to an “All You Can Eat Buffet” convention in Las Vegas. She was scheduled to be the keynote eater.

Southwest explained that, much like the incident with Kevin Smith, this beast of burden’s shear bulk presented a safety risk to the rest of the passengers, flight crew and people that might be directly below her should she fall out of the plane.

When contacted for comment, the cannibal mutant that had previously eaten the star or of such gems as “The Dukes of Hazard” and “Tony Romo Playoff Fail” had this to say:

“ARRRRRGHHS! CHICKEN WINGS! (*wheeze* *wheeze* *pounds chest to re-start heart*) GARBLE GARBLE GRAVY!”

More as it develops.

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